Ordinarily, I live my daily life with a structured schedule. This is a practice that I have maintained since college, and this is because it is the most efficient and productive way for me to succeed. In my earlier college years, back when I was still a teenager, I still had that teenage mentality where it was okay to put things off until the last minute, to not be fixated on the small details, but to roll with the punches. I lived my school life with the confidence that everything would somehow work out, without much thought, planning or effort. I thought that it was totally beneficial for me to stay up all night and write a 30 page paper the night before it was due, because my thoughts would be cohesive and I was more interested in knowing what was happening between "Felicity" and "Ben" during waking hours, than to figure out how to use terrain analysis of arid climates in agricultural planning.
As I went further on in school I was more and more involved with school clubs and organizations. So, careful planning became paramount to my scholastic success. That was when I began making lists. I made chore lists, assignment lists, and activities lists. I even drew little boxes beside each listing so that I could check off a task as I completed it. This gave me a sense of accomplishment and it helped me with time management, It also helped me to see how to weigh out the importance of each item.
In recent months, I've come to rely on tools such as, my daily planner, my "to do list" app, my laptop calendar and my smart phone calendar. These tools help me to plan meals, school events, writing assignments, etc. The calendars are great because I can type it all in and the computer will remind me of when something is scheduled to happen- my phone does the same thing. However, last week I took a break. I didn't fill out my daily planner. It felt weird, like I was playing hooky. I felt lost, like I didn't know what to do with myself. I never felt like I was getting enough done and I lost my sense of accomplishment. This was anything, but liberating. I managed to make a grocery list, make meals, go to school concerts and indoor soccer games. However, a lot of my writing just happened whenever I thought to do it, often nearly forgetting. The other night, I woke up at 1 am and was convinced that I'd forgotten to do something that was important, that I missed some deadline. I was wide awake making a mental list of everything and finally coming to the conclusion that nothing had been forgotten, I had just lost my confidence after I took a break from my organization.
All of this started when I went into my hobby room and saw my book shelves; I realized that I couldn't remember when I had last curled up with a book and read until I was exhausted. I grabbed the book The Paris Wife, a book that has been on my shelf, unread for a couple of years. I fully intend to read the book, it was apparently a best seller, but I wouldn't know, I've been booked!
Then, there's all the distractions around me. I see a small pile of dishes in the sink and I want to wash them, the dogs are acting like mischievous monkeys, there's laundry that I want to put to dry, there's a craft project that I want to complete, then there's youtube....why not watch some Grace Helbig or some Mirandasings?
Even though I'm still managing to get things done around the house and I've made it to school functions most of my work is not as I'd normally do it. The experiment has proven to me that I am okay with being an overly organized nerd. Being organized is what works best for me, and if it makes me look uptight, oh well. Without my method of planning, I am not my best version of myself. Lesson learned. I'll keep you updated on that craft project that I mentioned, earlier.
Until then~ Toodahloo!
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